At the volcano

Dear Crew,

There are some people who accompany you for a long stretch of the journey without you ever having met them in real life. And it’s only in hindsight that you realize just how much has actually come of it all.

To me, Kristina Sacken is that kind of person.

I listen to her podcast With Heart and Mind, which she’s been recording with Susanne Brückner since 2020, for several years now. And time and again, it leaves me with this feeling: Ah, I’m not alone in this. It’s like being caught and reminded of the bigger picture—while still taking full personal responsibility.

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After a while, I also booked a session with Kristina. Just one session—but it set the course for everything that followed.

I still remember how she told me, “I see your ancestors. They’re trying to get in touch with you.”

My heart understood that right away. My mind didn't. But I sensed that there was something I had to follow.

Kristina advised me to explore my ancestry and to seek help from people in South America. So I began my search. I delved into genealogy—into my indigenous roots in Chile—into the Mapuche.

And then I discovered something amazing: the symbols I had intuitively drawn in 2014—as a reminder to ground myself and connect with the heavens —matched the Mapuche symbols.

I delved deeper. Into the symbols. Into my ancestors. Into my connection with nature. Into my body. Into my expression.

I printed out all the symbols and put together a mini deck of cards. These cards accompanied me through my cycles. Then I felt the urge to dive even deeper—and created the first version of The Circle of the Cosmos.

Since I had been adopted and didn’t know my biological parents, that was the only way to connect with them: through pictures, through gratitude, through small gestures. A language that felt so real to me—and that might have seemed a little strange to outsiders.

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I also came to understand the power of the despacho ritual: a small bundle of flowers, seeds, and natural materials that you offer back to the elements as a token of gratitude.

I wanted to send mine to a friend in Chile. But Chile has strict import restrictions and doesn't allow seeds.

When I told my boyfriend about it, he immediately said, “Well, then I guess we’ll have to travel to Chile to sink your little package.”

I handed the original package to the Isar. I whispered to it the way to Chile across the rivers and seas. And I told it that I would follow.

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The trip took place two years later.

We wanted to visit Anita Epulef, a locally renowned Mapuche chef, to take a cooking class in the Patagonian hinterland on the border with Argentina. I also asked her if she knew a machi—a Mapuche healer. She gave me a contact and arranged the meeting.

It was a man named Vladimir. He didn't know me. But after ten minutes, he had recognized and confirmed what I had spent my whole life trying to achieve.

He said my ancestors told me I should stay in South America for a while—at indigenous ceremonies where I would be held and carried in a circle.

It was amazing. And it was the same message whose call I had intuitively received just a short time before. 

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Later, we ended up in the southern part of Chile—where I'm from.

We gathered all the ingredients for the despacho. My partner and I performed the ritual, each with our own bundle. We offered our bundles of gratitude to Lake Llanquihue at the foot of the Osorno Volcano.

It was beautiful.

Since then, I've really felt like I've come to terms with my roots. That they're there for me—and not against me.

I used to always feel like I came from nowhere. Now it's not just me who knows where I come from—my sweetheart does, too.

And that's worth its weight in gold .

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All of this came out of the session with Kristina.

The podcast is still a constant companion for me. And no matter where I am, it always catches me when I need it—and makes me feel at home.

With love and a sense of having found my place,
Jeannette